Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Boiling Inside

Boiling Inside

The things around me I cant control,"Boiling Inside" every time I expect things to change it remains the same, where is my voice, no one hears no one sees or feels what I am trying to say. I ask for things that just don't come to pass. As if I am just a piece of furniture a chair just standing there. "Boiling Inside"
The things I have to endure family drama that never ends, that drama that is not my problem to solve no my issue to deal with. I have never dropped any issues in your lap the things you have done to me and no one cared no one helped me through this so called family is a selfish one with no souls no caring no empathy how can people be so selfish to just ignore how one feels even when they see my tears none of them have wiped them away they just don't care, it hurts me to my very core that how can people who claim to be a family hurt one another with words deceitfulness no caring putting their failures on others causing pain and destruction. 
"Boiling Inside"
When I can't handle something  I am the first one to admit it and all this pain you have put on me & my sons we don't deserve. Nerves shaking every day tears I can not hide the growing pain I suffer inside, that is no Love at all. 
Time to find away God says find you peace and pursue it you peace will set you free I hold on to those words to one day give me the path to get away peace for me my sons to be free to live a life of fun and joy and no hurt no pain no tears. I cant remain in this selfish so called house it is no home, there is a saying "Home is where the heart is" well this home who had its leader has no heart I put my heart in but is was broken shattered to bits, no its time to repair and fly far away to peace and sanctuary as God will lead me to my path is peacefulness I find ways to seek peace inside and escape to the outside nature to refresh my mind and soul that is what keeps me sane. This is no way of life to live this family that I speak of are lost inside so very sad, but I have no sadness for them that may sound mean but they show no kindness its all superficial and no real heart when I needed them they were not there they let me suffer in my own pain well now I will not allow them to continue to give me more pain, the ties I need to cut that bind me I envision branch by branch one by one cutting away slipping & falling to the ground one after the other to set me free. 
My own family full of love and tenderness joy and happiness that's is home to me, I do not want to be a part of that other family (inlaws) that are so selfish mean non caring who could never love at all. One day as my path begins to walk & walk never to look back a new place a new life with my true family who knows love truly, I say goodbye to the wicked evil and hello to love and sunshine. One day that will come to pass, One day as the Lord guides me I will be set free. I can do things, I can be the person I was meant to be. 

No More Abuse I Will Be Free!! No More "Boiling Inside"

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