Saturday, April 18, 2020

A Hugger and A Smiler


It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.
F. Scott Fitzgerald



Observation is a wonderful thing. It takes the boredom of the day and puts its attention into extraordinary insight. Just sit and "BE" with the artistry around you for the moment. How many lives around you are buzzing, breathing, moving, working, passing by, foraging? All at their own pace, all on their own terms. Life is a wonder, and that bewilderment is always pulsing around us. If we are inside, something is humming, something is working, some light or lack of light is present. It is so easy to get caught up in any one aspect of one thing or another.

During these challenging times of crisis this year, “a sign of the times” my dear mother would say; one has to admit it has given pause to reflect on more important things. Everyone had to re-evaluate something. The time they spent at work, the money to raise their family. Some even solely concentrating on actual survival, while others preoccupied on how to clean their posterior with the shortages encountered.

Our family is resilient. We come from a very long line of matriarchs with very long loving lives of example. It’s only been two years since I lost the person most dear to me in the whole universe. A centenarian of life lessons resound with me more clearly and louder than ever in the few moments of reflection available. I’m almost glad she did not make it to this decade to have to deal with and experience this crisis.

My GrannyZ was not my grandmother, but even as my auntie she was the GRANDEST human being every family member and I have had to admit since her loss. We have been going through all of our memorabilia, nostalgic pieces, to pull together every fragment of blessings we received from her within our lifetimes. There are a myriad of hand crocheted afghan blankets. I am privileged to have 3 of these treasures, two personally made specifically for me during special occasions involving my milestones, and one she made for my father. This one is the most precious because this gift was to help him get past an excruciating life crisis that eventually took him from our world.

These histories are not isolated to only my household. There is sibling after sibling, niece after niece, cousin beyond cousin, stranger after stranger, that has since come forward to share how this amazing woman spent her lifetime caring for everyone. She was the trailblazer who took my mother and raised her as her own, along with all her little orphaned urchins. We were a crew of 5 to be reckoned with, and GrannyZ was the one who was up to the challenge. God saved us from ourselves with her beloved soul.

Many dark days get tears falling when I think of how much I miss her and then those memories always turn into a silky wet sloppy smile. She gave me my first home and my first car. She gave me my first self esteem and my love of writing letters. It is these traits I display most often that are like her. Quietly observing the aura of everyone and feeling out what would improve the situation. It makes for a very quiet phone conversation. But just like my GrannyZ, I have grown into my Superpower. If you come in contact with me, you will have encountered one of the World Class “Hugger & Smilers” followed by the renowned happy tear filled giggle jiggle. It is unmistakably the best part of being related to and raised by my Granny Z

“Love never fails”. It may or may not be scripture, but for my family it is Gospel because GrannyZ said so.






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