Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Giving the best of us

Ruby and I are lifelong friends, mothers, wives, daughters and sisters to our families. We have shared a lifetime of common experiences, and since I cannot tell you what Ruby thinks, I will share our experience from only my point of view.

Being a mother and wife is a great blessing. A gift that we cherish and honor. Being a wife and mother can also be a dutiful sacrifice that goes under appreciated or of unspoken gratitude. There is a level of understanding between a partner, the unsaid thank yous, the unheard praise mentioned to another. I’ve heard mention of my value as a wife, as a mother. It’s a very different facet to hear from the source that all your dedication and attention were in fact observed and pleasing.

Sometimes the day to day of life and family get the best of a mom. Sometimes the days stretch into weeks, months, years, and then decades of giving the best of us. It goes for granted that at 5 am there is going to be a cup of hot coffee ready with just the right amount of sweetener and cream. It can be overlooked that it took all day to prepare a meal that really was devoured in 15 minutes and replaced with junk an hour before or after. These little incidents are not intentional slights. There are just oversights or lack of attention to detail.

But being Mom puts us pretty much on top of the pack at the details. Our firstborn may love milk and cereal every morning, and that all inspiring 2nd sibling either goes without or wants the whole shabang of a cooked breakfast. We know how to serve it. We know how to get the smile that warms the heart. We paid attention to the wonderful little details that make our babies lives good and wonderful, as much as possible within our power to do so. All of these little things somehow get lost until a couple special days a year to remind us that mom’s value is gold, platinum, and diamond. And heaven forbid if we forget something.

Within this space of providing for everyone's needs we often forget to nurture ourselves. Or we feel some limiting negative emotional drawbacks that keep us from taking that moment to relax and take care of the one who cares for everyone. I personally was so focused on my children, husband, career, home, chores, church, and parents, that I let loose of a lifelong friendship that could have been a great benefit not only just to me but also to my DearHeart Ruby. I own up to letting those letters stop being written, to letting life get very hectic with kids, diaper duty, then kindergarten. It only just progressed from there. Filling in the details of all my babies wishes and freeing up the space that use to be a friendship of genuine heartfelt proportion. Ruby knows how I feel. I have reminded her many times since, that her value to me is priceless. It is immeasurable.

She is the Ruby stone that sat in my jewel-box, guarded for a special day that rarely had the blessing of arriving. The days when you get all dressed up, put on your best outfit and favorite shoes. The day your hair turns out perfect and you have just the right shade of lipstick to make everything pop to hubby’s eyes. The day you go thru the jewelry box and search through all the daily trinkets and there is its special spot is that 1 perfect gem to make the whole look feel like a million dollars. Its that day Hubby says thank you darling for being you. Its the day your babies graduate with honors or get their first job on their own. It a time when heaven opens up the sky and all the blessings come together for that greatest day of wonderful life that made all the sacrificing worth it.

Its the day Ruby or I sit down, in a quiet space, and take a cup of tea, or a sangria, and get out our stationary and re-read the gigantic letter that came in the post. The day we laugh to ourselves, and let our tears roll if need be, our eyes intent, the thoughts racing to respond supportively and write to our hearts content and to content our dearhearts. Its the day we get to nurture ourselves and make everything right with the universe and the creator. It our jewel of a day and Ruby is my jewel of choice to make this life so wonderful.

Thank you Ruby for re-inventing the wheel so I could roll back to you!


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